XXXIV. TRAINING OF
THE SPIRIT
The spiritual training of the boys was a much more
difficult matter than their physical and mental training.
I relied little on religious books for the training of
the spirit. Of course, I believed that every student
should be acquainted with the elements of his own
religion and have a general knowledge of his own
scriptures, and therefore I provided for such knowledge
as best I could. But that, to my mind, was part of the
intellectual training. Long before I undertook the
education of the youngsters of the Tolstoy Farm I had
realized that the training of the spirit was a thing by
itself. To develop the spirit is to build character and
to enable one to work towards a knowledge of God and
self-realization. And I held that this was an essential
part of the training of the young, and that all training
without culture of the spirit was of no use, and might be
even harmful.
I am familiar with the superstition that
self-realization is possible only in the fourth stage of
life, i.e., sannyasa (renunciation). But it is a matter
of common knowledge that those who defer preparation for
this invaluable experience until the last stage of life
attain not self-realization but old age amounting to a
second and pitiable childhood, living as a burden on this
earth. I have a full recollection that I held these views
even whilst I was teaching i. e., in 1911-12, though I
might not then have expressed them in identical language.
How then was this spiritual training to be given? I
made the children memorize and recite hymns, and read to
them from books on moral training. But that was far from
satisfying me. As I came into closer contact with them I
saw that it was not through books that one could impart
training of the spirit. Just as physical training was to
be imparted through physical exercise even so the
training of the spirit was possible only through the
exercise of the spirit. And the exercise of the spirit
entirely depended on the life and character of the
teacher. The teacher had always to be mindful of his p's
and q's, whether he was in the midst of his boys or not.
It is possible for a teacher situated miles away to
affect the spirit of the pupils by his way of living. It
would be idle for me, if I were a liar, to teach boys to
tell the truth. A cowardly teacher would never succeed in
making his boys valiant, and a stranger to self-
restraint could never teach his pupils the value os
self-restraint. I saw therefore that I must be an eternal
object-lesson to the boys and girls living with me. They
thus became my teachers, and I learnt I must be good and
live straight, if only for their sakes. I may say that
the increasing discipline and restraint I imposed on
myself at Tolstoy Farm was mostly due to those wards of
mine.
One of them was wild, unruly, given to lying, and
quarrelsome. On one occasion he broke out most violently.
I was exasperated. I never punished my boys, but this
time I was very angry. I tried to reason with him. But he
was adamant and even tried to overreach me. At last I
picked up a ruler lying at hand and delivered a blow on
his arm. I trembled as I struck him. I dare say he
noticed it. This was an entirely novel experience for
them all. The boy cried out and begged to be forgiven. He
cried not because the beating was painful to him; he
could, if he had been so minded, have paid me back in the
same coin, being a stoutly built youth of seventeen; but
he realized my pain in being driven to this violent
resource. Never again after this incident did he disobey
me. But I still repent that violence. I am afraid I
exhibited before him that day not the spirit, but the
brute, in me.
I have always been opposed to corporal punishment. I
remember only one occasion on which I physically punished
one of my sons. I have therefore never until this day
been able to decide whether I was right or wrong in using
the ruler. Probably it was improper, for it was prompted
by anger and a desire to punish. Had it been an
expression only of my distress, I should have considered
it justified. But the motive in this case was mixed.
This incident set me thinking and taught me a better
method of correcting students. I do not know whether that
method would have availed on the occasion in question.
The youngster soon forgot the incident, and I do not
think he ever showed great improvement,. But the incident
made me understand better the duty of a teacher towards
his pupils.
Cases of misconduct on the part of the boys often
occurred after this, but I never resorted to corporal
punishment. Thus in my endeavour to impart spiritual
training to the boys and girls under me, I came to
understand better and better the power of the spirit.
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