XXX. TOWARDS
SELF-RESTRAINT
I have described in the last chapter how Kasturbai's
illness was instrumental in bringing about some changes
in my diet. At a later stage more changes were introduced
for the sake of supporting brahmacharya.
The first of these was the giving up of milk. It was
from Raychandbhai that I first learnt that milk
stimulated animal passion. Books on vegetarianism
strengthened the idea, but so long as I had not taken the
brahmacharya vow I could not make up my mind to
forego milk. I had long realized that milk was not
necessary for supporting the body, but it was not easy to
give it up. While the necessity for avoiding milk in the
interests of self-restraint was growing upon me, I
happened to come across some literature from Calcutta,
describing the tortures to which cows and buffaloes were
subjected by their keepers. This had a wonderful effect
on me. I discussed it with Mr. Kallenbach.
Though I have introduced Mr. Kallenbach to the readers
of the history of Satyagraha in South Africa, and
referred to him in a previous chapter, I think it
necessary to say something more about him here. We met
quite by accident. He was a friend of Mr. Khan's, and as
the latter had discovered deep down in him a vein of
other-worldliness he introduced him to me.
When I came to know him I was startled at his love of
luxury and extravagance. But at our very first meeting,
he asked searching questions concerning matters of
religion. We incidentally talked of Gautam Buddha's
renunciation. Our acquaintance soon ripened into very
close friendship, so much so that we thought alike, and
he was convinced that he must carry out in his life the
changes I was making in mine.
At that time he was single, and was expending Rs.
1,200 monthly on himself, over and above house rent. Now
he reduced himself to such simplicity that his expenses
came to Rs. 120 per month. After the breaking up of my
household and my first release from jail, we began to
live together. It was a fairly hard life that we led.
It was during this time that we had the discussion
about milk. Mr. Kallenbach said, 'We constantly talk
about the harmful effects of milk. Why then do not we
give it up? It is certainly not necessary.' I was
agreeably surprised at the suggestion, which I warmly
welcomed, and both of us pledged ourselves to abjure milk
there and then. This was at Tolstoy Farm in the year
1912.
But this denial was not enough to satisfy me. Soon
after this I decided to live on a pure fruit diet, and
that too composed of the cheapest fruit possible, Our
ambition was to live the life of the poorest people.
The fruit diet turned out to be very convenient also.
Cooking was practically done away with. Raw groundnuts,
bananas, dates, lemons, and olive oil composed our usual
diet.
I must here utter a warning for the aspirants of brahmacharya.
Though I have made out an intimate connection between
diet and brahmacharya, it is certain that mind
is the principal thing. A mind consciously unclean cannot
be cleansed by fasting. Modifications in diet have no
effect on it. The concupiscence of the mind cannot be
rooted out except by intense self-examination, surrender
to God and lastly, grace. But there is an intimate
connection between the mind and the body, and carnal mind
always lusts for delicacies and luxuries. To obviate this
tendency dietetic restrictions and fasting would appear
to be necessary. The carnal mind, instead of controlling
the senses, becomes their slave, and therefore the body
always needs clean non-stimulating foods and periodical
fasting.
Those who make light of dietetic restrictions and
fasting are as much in error as those who stake their all
on them. My experience teaches me that, for those whose
minds are working towards self-restraint, dietetic
restrictions and fasting are very helpful. In fact
without their help concupiscence cannot be completely
rooted out the mind.
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