IV. QUICKENED
SPIRIT OF SACRIFICE
Before I narrate the struggle for the Indian settlers
rights in the Transvaal and their dealing with the
Asiatic Department, I must turn to some other aspects of
my life.
Up to now there had been in me a mixed desire. The
spirit of self- sacrifice was tempered by the desire to
lay by something for the future.
About the time I took up chambers in Bombay, an
American insurance agent had come there a man with a
pleasing countenance and a sweet tongue. As though we
were old friends he discussed my future welfare. 'All men
of your status in America have their lives insured.
Should you not also insure yourself against the future?
Life is uncertain. We in America regard it as a religious
obligation to get insured. Can I not tempt you to take
out a small policy?'
Up to this time I had given the cold shoulder to all
the agents I had met in South Africa and India, for I had
though that life assurance implied fear and want of faith
in God. But now I succumbed to the temptation of the
American agent. As he proceeded with his argument, I had
before my mind's eye a picture of my wife and children.
'Man, you have sold almost all the ornaments of your
wife,' I said to myself. 'If something were to happen to
you, the burden of supporting her and the children would
fall on your poor brother, who has so nobly filled the
place of father. How would that become you?' With these
and similar arguments I persuaded myself to take out a
policy for Rs. 10,000.
But when my mode of life changed in South Africa, my
outlook changed too. All the steps I took at this time of
trial were taken in the name of God and for His service.
I did not know how long I should have to stay in South
Africa. I had a fear that I might never be able to get
back to India: so I decided to keep my wife and children
with me and earn enough to support them. This plan made
me deplore the life policy and feel ashamed of having
been caught in the net of the insurance agent. If, I said
to myself, my brother is really in the position of my
father, surely he would not consider it too much of a
burden to support my widow, if it came to that, And what
reason had I to assume that death would claim me earlier
than the others? After all the real protector was neither
I nor my brother, but the Almighty. In getting my life
insured I had robbed my wife and children of their self-
reliance. Why should they not be expected to take care of
themselves? What happened to the families of the
numberless poor in the world? Why should I not count
myself as one of them?
A multitude of such thoughts passed though my mind,
but I did not immediately act upon them. I recollect
having paid at least one insurance premium in South
Africa.
Outward circumstances too supported this train of
thought. During my first sojourn in South Africa it was
Christian influence that had kept alive in me the
religious sense. Now it was theosophical influence that
added strength to it. Mr. Ritch was a theosophist and put
me in touch with the society at Johannesburg. I never
became a member, as I had my differences, but I came in
close contact with almost every theosophist. I had
religious discussions with them every day. There used to
be readings from theosophical books and sometimes I had
occasion to address their meetings. The chief thing about
theosophy is to cultivate and promote the idea of
brotherhood. We had considerable discussion over this,
and I criticized the members where their conduct did not
appear to me to square with their ideal. The criticism
was not without its whole some effect on me. It led to
introspection.
|
